Widening Perspectives

Well, that's pretty much been my experience.

A friend once asked me, “If you could describe in one word what you’ve gained from living overseas, what would it be?"

My answer was simply, “Perspective”.

Perspective, that's the word I would choose. There’s a story in that word, context, things that come together to make it what it is. So, without boring you with lots of stories about perspective, I'll share bits and pieces of just one, as the words find their way to the page.

Tell me more...

One eye opening example of widening perspectives was when we first arrived in the Middle East country of Oman. Meghan and I were there to start a new teaching post at Al Batinah International School in Sohar, in 2015. Prior to arriving I had realized that there was some part of me that was apprehensive about going to the Middle East. I thought about it.. Maybe it’s the many years of media I’d been exposed to that focussed around terrorism, 9/11, the war in Iraq, the Syrian refugee crisis, etc., all real, yet were these stories representative of all Muslims? All Middle Eastern countries? Either way, that media was in my brain, and had generated an underlying fear of Middle Eastern countries whether I liked it or not.

To add fuel to this underlying fear, just before we left for Oman, I happened to speak with a former U.S. soldier who had fought in the war in Iraq. He was very concerned about our moving to the Middle East, and told me, “to practice extreme caution, and vary your paths around your neighborhood each day so the local people will not be able to track your position on any given day.” To be honest, when he said that, it kind of freaked me out. I started to think, is it really that dangerous there? What have we gotten ourselves into? And yet, we calmly proceeded with the plan trying to stay open, facing our fears, and seeing for ourselves what the Omani people were really like.

Okay, so I landed in Oman fairly open minded, but with a touch of paranoia to say the least..

Two weeks after we arrived, I was waiting in line at the driver's license registration office in Sohar, the city where we lived. While in line, an Omani gentleman in his “dishdasha” struck up a conversation with me. He seemed friendly enough and seemed to love that I was from the U.S., which was nice to hear, and pretty much contradicted what I’d been led to believe by the media and my soldier friend. It was a long line, so we had a friendly chat for quite a while about life in Oman, his family, his hobbies, etc.. I had a good feeling about him, and before we parted ways, he asked for my telephone number, and invited me to his favorite place to picnic up in the nearby mountains. I warmed up to the idea. That is, until he said, he enjoys going up to the mountains to shoot his guns, and would like me to join him!

I smiled at him warmly on the outside, while triggered by that touch of paranoia on the inside, thinking, “this guy wants to take me to the mountains and shoot me!” Although I didn’t want to believe this inner voice, enough of me believed it that, I wasn’t prepared to agree to shooting his guns in the mountains. That said, I did give him my phone number and we connected and became friends over time. However, I never did go to the mountains and shoot his guns. My loss, I guess..

As days and weeks passed, I learned much more about the Omani people and made some great Omani friends at the school we taught at, in our neighborhood, and when we were traveling around the country. I later learned that picnicking is a favorite pastime of the Omani people, and shooting guns is a fairly common recreational activity, and that I was hardly in any danger.

In the four years that we lived in Oman, I can honestly say, I did not have a single Omani man or woman be unkind in any way towards me. I heard stories of some mistreatment of female friends by Omani men, but these were infrequent and never, to my knowledge, turned into anything truly dangerous. Personally, I found the Omani people to be among the friendliest, kindest people I’ve ever met.

Perspective.. I didn’t realize it at the time that perspectives were growing within me. New ones, ones that painted a brighter, clearer picture of the whole of the Middle East, of Muslims, and of Omanis.

Now, when I meet people from the Middle East, I’m excited to talk with them. I often bring up a few Arabic greetings, “assalam walekum”, “kay falak”, etc.. and we are off and running with friendly conversation. This allows me to live in a world with fewer underlying fears and paranoia, and with more kinship with an enormous group of people of which I once carried an underlying fear...

So, why is this important?

This is the world I believe we can all live in. We are all capable of widening our perspectives, which brings more peace into the world. It isn't so hard to do. Often, a leap of faith, a touch of courage and the willingness to step out of our comfort zone is all it takes. Opening up, being adventurous, striking up conversations with people we would not normally talk with.. are a few of the many ways of widening perspectives.

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